Many of you know that I have struggled with the celebration of holidays for a number of reasons. Nonetheless, Thanksgiving was one holiday that I grew up celebrating with my family. I remember the smell of baked mac and cheese, collard greens, and sweet potato pie. YUM!!
While several things have changed over the years one thing has remained the same – thankfulness.
Since having children, my wife and I have tried to instill in them a daily attitude of gratitude. This is the theme that we try and celebrate even more so on Thanksgiving.
This year while the theme stayed the same the circumstances were drastically different. We did not cook a big meal. In fact, we didn’t cook at all. I did not sing songs and struggled to play with the kids for long periods of time.
For those who don’t know my mother is in the hospital. She suffered a heart attack on Saturday, we joked and prayed thinking she would return home by Sunday, then by Monday was in the ICU and barely responding.
While I won’t get into details it is safe to say that this Thanksgiving was a bit more challenging than previous years. I find myself very numb and struggling to put my thoughts together. For almost a week I can’t seem to focus on anything longer than 10 minutes or so (this post felt like it took an eternity to write).
Regardless of this current reality, I have been able to maintain a thankful attitude. I have reflected on time spent with my mother. Stories we have told and moments we have shared. I have been able to witness the impact she has had on my children in just a few months. I am truly grateful for her love toward my family. I know that God is a good God whose plans are always best. God is truly my refuge and my fortress. He is always a helper who can be found in times of trouble or despair. The temporary pain we feel here is NOTHING compared to the eternal weight in glory we shall receive.
However, this pain – well hurts.
Every day is hard. I have more questions than answers.
Please don’t take my silence as not wanting to talk with you. Understand that my silence is the inability to put my thoughts into words. I am struggling to stay focused in this season. Your prayers are truly appreciated.
BUT one thing remains the same, I am thankful for what God is doing because He is at work in our lives.
Divine Perspective 